After years of studying, you toss your graduation cap into the air. You are instantly faced with the reality that from this moment on, the choices you make will affect your future. You are either going to find a job or head into 4 or more years of studying. You determine to become the best student or employee you can be as you move into the future- you find your purpose.
After months of planning the perfect day, you look into your beloved’s eyes and answer the minister’s question with a hearty, “I do!” In that moment, you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are going to do everything in your power to make this marriage into the stuff fairytales are made of. You determine that you are going to be the best wife you can be- you find your purpose.
After several hours of contractions, pain that has been severely dulled by anesthetics, and delivery, you are handed a tiny bundle wrapped in hospital issued blankets. In that instant you determine that you are going to be the best mother you can be- you find your purpose.
For some, finding their purpose as a woman, wife, or mother means losing themselves as a person. When the job goes away or changes, the marriage doesn’t last or the love of your life passes away, your children grow up and leave, this woman, wife, or mother feels that she no longer has a purpose.
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Being a purposeful woman has nothing to do with where you spend 40 hours of your week. It has everything to do with the goals you set for yourself and/or your family and the steps you take to reach that goal.
Purpose for me means living with a desired result or goal to shoot for. Living with determination and resoluteness.
For me, being a purposeful woman means thinking about all of the facets that make me who I am as bullseye targets. Each action is an arrow. The bullseye is my goal. What do I need to do to hit my target?
- Prayer- “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it.” Ps. 127:1. I can attempt to be purposeful, but unless I invite the Lord into my endeavor (my work, home, marriage, or mothering), those efforts will be in vain.
- Practice- The old saying “Practice makes perfect” is true even in purposeful living. Sometimes my decisions won’t hit my target. Sometimes I will hit the target but not the bullseye. The more decisions I make, the more practice I get at making decisions that will get me closer to my desired end result.
- Time- No one becomes an expert overnight. It takes practice over time to be able to hit the target at almost every attempt. Being patient is crucial to learning to be a purposeful woman… something I have to work on daily.
The idea of being purposeful sounds great, but what does it look like in real life? One evening, I sat down with a cup of coffee (I always do my best thinking with coffee in hand) and wrote out all of the most important aspects of my life and what I needed to do to be more intentional in them. Here is the outline I came up with.
- My relationship with the Lord- Finding a time and place that will give me uninterrupted time to spend in Bible reading and prayer.
- My relationship with my husband- Praying for him, spending time with him without the kids around, and caring for his needs.
- My relationship with my children- Praying for them, spending focused time with them, and spending time teaching them so they can grow in their relationship with the Lord.
- My relationship with my work- As a work-from-home mom, finding that place of balance is important. Planning my work time and not allowing it to creep into our homeschooling time or family time is crucial to finding that balance.
- Our relationship with money- Making wise choices with our money, caring for the belongings we already have, continuing to stay out debt, and using our money to further the kingdom of God are all areas that need daily upkeep.
- Taking care of myself- Making time for annual checkups, making the effort to recently lose 30+ pounds, making time for daily exercise, reading a minimum of 24 books each year for myself, and purposing to eat healthier foods.
- Taking care of our home- Creating doable routines and schedules for our family, being alert to what comes into our home, and keeping the stuff to a minimum.
Being purposeful means that this list will change over time as I become aware of other needs within these categories or as the categories become unnecessary.
Being purposeful means I am going to need to stay alert to the needs of my family, because they are ever changing.
Being purposeful means I will need to stay alert to my own needs because if I don’t I will not be available to care for the needs of my family.
The more purposeful I am, the more my family will see it, and being purposeful will not just be “Mom’s thing” it will become the way of life for our family.
